Uglier on The Inside

You look at me.
All dark,coy and small.
Because you see,
I'm not even that tall.

Searching for some style,
You stare at my face.
But it ends so futile
That you won't find a trace.

Moment enough to judge,
When you will all agree.
And I wont hold a grudge,
When you think I'm so ugly.

"Beauty is only skin deep"
That's what they have to say.
But look inside, be a creep
When the sun shines, make some hay.

What is it you find?
If you seek beauty,
Honestly I don't mind
If you find me empty.

For,
I am uglier on the inside.

Beauty is obvious,
Beauty is loud.
It stands out impervious
Throughout the crowd.

And with me as another nameless face,
I am not beautiful.

Every picture, every opinion,
every reflection and every description,
they don't say I'm beautiful.

I can't agree more.
But I am uglier on the inside.
And I am ugly,
In ways you don't know.

I'm scared of people.
I don't always know what to do.
It's not that simple
To make me happy or sad too.

I judge.
I overanalyze.
I procrastinate.
I stumble.
I'm stupid.

I fish for compliments.
I wish for happiness.
But all I'm left with
Is my own laziness.

I always speak back.
When someone confronts.
I ask for feedback
But leave them with disgrunts.

I am
Vaguely insecure.
Irritably impure.

I make mistakes that I don't even accept.

I don't help.
I don't move.
I don't trust
And I can't even love.

I have false hopes.

I'm full of flaws I'm aware,
Striving for improvement,
Can't say I don't care
Of these vices which lay dormant.

I try to change.
But I break.

I do things that I don't want to.

Everytime I push harder.
But nothing ever changes.

You look at me,
and think I am mad.

But I always remember,
You know my story.
Not what I've been through.

I agree if you think I'm ugly.
I smile to whatever you say.

Mine is a tragedy.
It is beauty waiting to happen.

And I have hope.
That you think I'm ugly
But love me anyway.